I often think that I am not as lucky as my sisters, or my friends. I never won in any lucky draw (hehe..excuses), and i usually didn't get what i want. I am not pretty and also not so intelligent(in the sense of understanding and be able to put into use what have i learned) and i didn't have a lot of friends.
Lately, i've been questioning myself about this. Is it because of my luck, or it's because of me? The answer that i got is ME. Yup, all me..
Sometimes i do wish i'd be more like my sisters; pandai, rajin, responsible, berfikiran jauh..Compared to them, i have a long way to go. But comparing won't do me any good unless i do something about it,kan? I may not be that pandai, but i can learn to be better; i may not be that rajin, but i can try sikit2 to be one; i may not be that responsible, but at least i can try to be one..And talking won't do me any good, unless i take some action upon it.
I can't speak German languange very well, but right now, i am trying to. Little by little. I may not speak fluently, but slowly, i'll catch up. All I need is hardwork, and less whining about how my German sucks.Yup, i am to blame because i didn't make any friends, that's why my language is going down the drain..Schade!!(what a pity).
I am doing my internship at my School. I applied to more than 20 Companies and only got interviewed by one. My applications were rejected. Whose fault was it? 90 % MINE and 10% no luck. I am angry at my teachers because of paksa me to follow the school's rule (I can't study for more than 3 semester without doing the internship semester first). Tapi if i look at things in the negative point of view, i won't be happy for the rest of the semester and anything that i learned during my internship right now, would meant nothing to me. So, instead of hating this internship, i'l have to like it. Learn the new things earnestly and eventually i'll gain something in the end of the semester.
And also right now, tinggal setinggan( illegal in Germany).Luckily the jirans don't complain to the Hausmeister (Landlord). Imagine all the stuff that belongs to two girls, being put in one room. A room for one. Memang mcm setinggan. Except mcm pusat hiburan and cc pun ada..hehe ( we have 2 pcs, 2 laptops, a tv and a home theater set- i only own one pc and one laptop, the rest belongs to my friend). Susah la cari rumah kat German. Hopefully dapat la the 2-rooms apartment in the other Hostel.
Aiya, wa sudah merepek byk ni. I'll try to put my thoughts daily here. Tomorrow would be the smbgn of this part. I want to change. Sikit pun jadilah..asalkan i'm moving somewhere.
Lately, i've been questioning myself about this. Is it because of my luck, or it's because of me? The answer that i got is ME. Yup, all me..
Sometimes i do wish i'd be more like my sisters; pandai, rajin, responsible, berfikiran jauh..Compared to them, i have a long way to go. But comparing won't do me any good unless i do something about it,kan? I may not be that pandai, but i can learn to be better; i may not be that rajin, but i can try sikit2 to be one; i may not be that responsible, but at least i can try to be one..And talking won't do me any good, unless i take some action upon it.
I can't speak German languange very well, but right now, i am trying to. Little by little. I may not speak fluently, but slowly, i'll catch up. All I need is hardwork, and less whining about how my German sucks.Yup, i am to blame because i didn't make any friends, that's why my language is going down the drain..Schade!!(what a pity).
I am doing my internship at my School. I applied to more than 20 Companies and only got interviewed by one. My applications were rejected. Whose fault was it? 90 % MINE and 10% no luck. I am angry at my teachers because of paksa me to follow the school's rule (I can't study for more than 3 semester without doing the internship semester first). Tapi if i look at things in the negative point of view, i won't be happy for the rest of the semester and anything that i learned during my internship right now, would meant nothing to me. So, instead of hating this internship, i'l have to like it. Learn the new things earnestly and eventually i'll gain something in the end of the semester.
And also right now, tinggal setinggan( illegal in Germany).Luckily the jirans don't complain to the Hausmeister (Landlord). Imagine all the stuff that belongs to two girls, being put in one room. A room for one. Memang mcm setinggan. Except mcm pusat hiburan and cc pun ada..hehe ( we have 2 pcs, 2 laptops, a tv and a home theater set- i only own one pc and one laptop, the rest belongs to my friend). Susah la cari rumah kat German. Hopefully dapat la the 2-rooms apartment in the other Hostel.
Aiya, wa sudah merepek byk ni. I'll try to put my thoughts daily here. Tomorrow would be the smbgn of this part. I want to change. Sikit pun jadilah..asalkan i'm moving somewhere.
3 comments:
u get to study out of the country and u think u're not lucky?
u have seen at least half of europe and u think u're not lucky?
u hv a bf u adores u and he gets on fabulously well with ur family and u are not lucky?
ur SCHOOL at least find u a place for internship (so at least u are not kicked out) and u still think u are unlucky?
Life IS HOW we see it. See that u are the victim and u will always be.
You are on the right path. At ur age now, all ur sisters hv made similar mistakes. Similar way of thinking. Dem, at ur age i made countless relationship mistakes, studying disasters and at my first job, i got duped into causing the family lots of $$ and worst, could get myself implicated.
Trust in your own path and development in life.
Trust that you will learn what you need to learn when the time comes.
Gratitude. That's a lesson i want u to learn. Every single thing, every little thing, there's so much things u can be grateful about. Focus. Change ur focus to those things and u'll see more of the good things.
hugs, sis inn.
who do you think you are? you ungrateful piece of flesh.
sam US. sambro22@hotmail.com
Well sam is it?
I wrote this when i was feeling down. Yes, from what inn wrote, seems like i have everything.I AM grateful for these things that i have in life, even when someday they will be taken away from me. I learned a lot and i see things differently after i wrote this.
Some ppl found positive things to say to me when i wrote this, and some just say negative things.
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